The Path to Positivity….lined with the potholes of self-doubt but with promise on the horizon
In the June of 2018 I knew it was time for me to make a change in my work life. I had enjoyed my time with my employer at the time, a leisure start up with one venue when I joined them, and here I was preparing for our 7th, 8th and 9th openings a little over 3 years from starting; however circumstances were telling me it was time to think about what was next.
As it happens it wasn’t until the very end of 2018 that I worked my last day with that company. I had had seven months to think about what I wanted to do next and where I wanted to look for that next career challenge, and I’m not too proud to say that in those seven months I must have imaged every worst-case, apocalypse level, scenario that could have happened when that fateful day arrived; no job to go to, running down my savings and squandering all the hard work that had went into building up that reserve, not being able to provide my family with the standard of living they had been accustomed to, letting down my wife and kids…..and I could go on.
The point of that positively jolly intro to this blog post was to say that I wasn’t doing myself any favours with my fairly desolate mind-set at the time; but then something changed. I started on the path to changing my mind-set.
What path would I take?
As 2018 came to an ending I had received a handful of interesting job offers but none that floated-my-boat, none that felt like the next evolution of my 20-year career. From that period of uncertainty, the budding life of a consultant began to take shape organically as I found my phone was ringing with requests from friends who knew people, and people who knew other people all looking for some direction with their hospitality businesses (and that’s another blog post for a another day).
As the life of a consultant begun to look more of an option, and one that I found exciting to pursue, that apocalypse level negative mindset was still prevalent. Could I make it work, how would I make it work, where would I find work, could I make enough of a living to support my family? What I knew was that I needed more information. I needed to do my research about the life and times of consultants and how (If I was going to pursue this option) could I be the best consultant I could be.
From that time, I dove straight in, podcasts, articles, books, cultivating social media feeds, all with experts in their fields, hospitality leaders, consultants, business leaders, and from them all I found a common thread – positive mindset.
The golden penny on the pathway to redemption
I can remember exactly where I was on the day I found the golden penny of mind-set redemption. I can tell you the location, time and who dropped that penny of wisdom, such was its influence on me. I was listening to VaynerMedia’s CEO Gary Vaynerchuk/Gary Vee, who I’ve found to hold a number of interesting viewpoints. His topic this day in question was why ‘you’ (the procrastinating viewer/listener and in this case ‘me’) shouldn’t care about what others thought of ‘you’ and how ‘you’ are using this an excuse to hold yourself back from taking a risk and being successful in your life/career.
I immediately found myself thinking of that well-worn social media friendly quote from poet Erin Hanson– “What if I fall? Oh, but darling, what if you fly?” – and at that point I understood entirely what it was that was influencing my negative mindset - it was the fear of the opinion of others (even writing this now and putting these words on paper is still cathartic months later).
No one cares what pathway you take so go your own way
Once I understood that 99.99999% of people don’t care what ‘you’ are doing as they have their own s**t to deal with, and that they’re really not bothered about what it is ‘you’ are up to, then things begun to change. I began to change. I started to open myself up to the possibility that my mindset had been pre-wired through my work and life experiences to-date to always look for the worst case scenario and plan accordingly; that I never allowed myself to look at a glass half full, it was always half empty.
Further readings and listening allowed me to appreciate that I had the power within my own sphere of influence to change my own mindset, and that is what I have been doing for the past 6 months now…..but it hasn’t been easy and I doubt it ever will.
I 100% believe that my upbringing, early adult-life and career to date had shaped me to look at those worst case scenarios but now I no longer want that mindset to define the next phase of my life and career as I embark on this journey to share my hospitality experience with others, to help other learn and flourish and add value to those clients I am fortunate enough to come into contact with. It’s not been easy to alter four decades of thinking in a particular way, but this is what I have learnt.
You need to pound the pathway of positivity every-single-day
You can change your way of thinking once you take
ownership for doing so, once you commit to having and holding a positive
mindset on work, life, or whatever it is you want to change your outlook on;
but you need to work at it, every day. Every. Day.
Bit by bit, day by day, each morning you gradually
notice the difference; and yes, I have my ‘relapses’ so to speak, but I’m
starting to identify those triggers and how to move past them to get to the
mindset and approach I want myself to have. I know I’ve not wholly cracked it,
and I’m still learning from both external and internal influences to get me to where
I want to be, but I know I’ll get there because I’m telling myself I will – and
if you identify with any of what I’ve written about here, know that you’ll get
there too….but only if you really want to and you’re willing to put in the
work. Every day.
Onto the horizon
So, I write all of this to say that I’m look forward
to the future of launching WHAM Consultancy full time. I’m not filled with the
fear that comes with being self-employed, but with the excitement and
anticipation that I’m about to build another defining path in this journey
called life and grasping that opportunity that sits on my horizon…all with an ever-improving
positive mindset.
See you at the bar....
Mark
